Sex in Pregnancy: The Top Things You Need to Know
Ah, pregnancy - the magical time when your hair is thick, your skin is glowing, and your feet are the size of loaves of bread. And just when you think your body couldn’t surprise you more, along comes the question: what about sex? With Valentine's Day around the corner, romance is in the air, but if you're pregnant, you might be wondering how that translates into intimacy.
If you’re wondering whether sex during pregnancy is safe, comfortable, or even possible without a team of structural engineers, you’re not alone. You might be feeling up for it constantly, you may find the very idea nauseating. There is a wide spectrum of how mum's might feel so here are a few things you need to know about getting intimate when you’re expecting.
1. Yes, It’s Safe (In Most Cases)
For the majority of pregnancies, sex is perfectly safe. Your baby is snugly tucked away behind the amniotic sac and your cervix is like the bouncer at an exclusive club - nothing’s getting through. Unless your midwife or doctor has given you a specific reason to hold off (such as placenta previa, risk of preterm labour, or a history of miscarriage), you’re good to go! In fact, staying intimate can be a great way to keep the connection alive with your partner amidst all the physical and emotional changes pregnancy brings.
2. Your Libido Might Be All Over the Place
Thanks to fluctuating hormones, you may feel like a teenager discovering love for the first time… or you may recoil at the very thought of anything touching you (including your own clothes). Some women experience a surge in libido, particularly in the second trimester, when increased blood flow to the pelvic area can heighten sensitivity and arousal. Others feel about as sexy as an overstuffed sofa. Fatigue, morning sickness, and general discomfort can all play a role in how you feel about sex. Both experiences are completely normal, and your libido may change from one trimester to the next.
3. Positions May Require Some… Creativity
Let’s be honest - things are shifting, growing, and stretching, and your old favourite positions might not feel quite the same. Anything that puts pressure on your bump may quickly lose its appeal, and by the third trimester, lying on your back for too long is a no-go as it can restrict blood flow. This is a great excuse to experiment with different angles, side-lying options, and positions where you can control the movement more comfortably. Communication is key - talk to your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and don’t be afraid to have a laugh when things don’t go quite as planned!
4. Orgasms Feel Different (and That’s Okay!)
Pregnancy increases blood flow to, well, everywhere, which can make sensations stronger, more intense, or just plain different. Some women report their orgasms are mind-blowing, while others feel a bit underwhelmed compared to their pre-pregnancy experiences. Either way, don’t stress - it’s all temporary!
Additionally, some women experience a post-orgasmic sensation of pressure or slight discomfort due to increased uterine sensitivity. If anything feels off or uncomfortable, take a break, shift positions, or just enjoy other forms of intimacy like massage or cuddling.
5. You Might Get Random Contractions (But Not the Baby-Delivering Kind)
After orgasm, some women experience Braxton Hicks contractions - a kind of practice tightening of the uterus. This is totally normal and nothing to worry about, though it can feel a little strange if you’re not expecting it! These mild contractions are typically short-lived and painless, but if they become painful, frequent, or persist for a long time, check in with your midwife just to be safe.
6. Your Partner Might Have Their Own Fears
Some partners worry about ‘disturbing’ the baby (they won’t), hurting you (unlikely), or finding your changing body a mystery they weren’t prepared for. Open, honest conversations can help reassure both of you, and if they need a gentle reminder: you are growing an entire human, so a little patience and understanding wouldn’t go amiss. Some partners may also feel a little nervous about initiating sex, fearing rejection or unsure how you feel about intimacy during pregnancy. Reassuring them (or being honest if you’re not in the mood) can help keep the connection strong.
7. If You’re Not Feeling It, That’s Okay Too
There’s no ‘right’ way to feel about sex in pregnancy. If you’re loving it, great! If you’d rather binge-watch box sets and eat biscuits, also great! The most important thing is that you and your partner communicate openly and respect what feels right for you. Intimacy isn’t just about sex - it can also be about affection, cuddling, or just spending quality time together. Don’t put pressure on yourself to maintain a certain level of intimacy if you’re not feeling up to it.
8. Sex Can Help Trigger Labour (If You’re Ready!)
If you’re approaching your due date and wondering how to encourage labour naturally, sex might just be the answer. Semen contains prostaglandins, which can help soften the cervix, and orgasms can cause uterine contractions that might give things a little nudge in the right direction. However, this only works if your body is already gearing up for labour - it won’t suddenly make things happen if your baby isn’t ready to make their grand entrance. Always check with your midwife if you’re unsure, and if nothing else, at least you and your partner will have some fun trying!
9. Postpartum Sex? We’ll Cross That Bridge Later…
Spoiler alert: once the baby arrives, your body will need time to heal, and your brain may be fully occupied with nappies and night feeds. Postpartum recovery varies for every woman, so don’t feel pressured to jump back into intimacy right away. When the time comes, take it slow, communicate with your partner, and prioritise what feels good for you.
For now, enjoy what feels good, get creative with what doesn’t, and remember—pregnancy sex can be weird, wonderful, and even hilarious. So embrace it (or don’t), but most importantly, do what works for you.
